Looking Down
by patricia51
Summary: Set at the end of RE: Extinction. Kmart looks down from the helicopter as it takes off. What's below her isn't all she sees. Kmart's POV.


Looking Down by patricia51

(Set at the end of RE: Extinction. Kmart looks down from the helicopter as it takes off. What's below her isn't all she sees. Kmart's POV. Angst.)

Alice is just standing there looking at us. Maybe I'm reading too much into things but I think she's looking at me the most. But she did tell me to take care of the others so maybe she is.

I keep telling myself I won't look at the still raging flames marking the place where we crashed through the zombies and the wire to get to the helicopter. The spot where Carlos died.

He died because of me. He wouldn't have been infected if he hadn't come to my rescue, pulling LJ off me before I was bitten. Oh God, why was Carlos bitten instead of me?

I've had a crush on Carlos like forever. And that's funny and maybe a bit weird because at the same time I always think of him as my big brother. That's probably kind of yucky. He's always been there to protect us all but he always looked after me in particular. I know he cared for me, a lot, like a brother. Like Claire is my big sister.

I stifle my body's attempt to cry. I've cried enough for today. I've cried enough for a lifetime.

Once upon a time I had a brother. And a sister. And a Mom and Dad. And a warm house to live in and meals that don't come out of unlabeled cans and ice cream and lipstick and a soft bed and friends and a stuffed unicorn. There was music and TV and laughter and even school could be fun. Piano lessons and gymnastics and softball. All from another time when I had another name. I never liked that name; it was stupid but I liked that other time.

It ended when the infection spread across the country. It ended when my Mom and Dad held back the creatures that smashed into our house long enough for my siblings and me to get away. It ended when my brother died trying to save my sister and I hope that he never saw the zombies catch my sister. She fell and I stopped but she screamed to me to run. I did.

That life ended but another started when I was hiding in the back of that store and scavenging from the stockrooms. It started again when I heard the sounds coming from the sales floor and realized that they were coming from living breathing people. There was a man and a woman talking. I didn't know their names but they smiled when they saw me and I knew that at least for right then I was safe.

The helicopter hesitates and I grab the steel tubing of the seat. Are we going to crash? Did we come this far for nothing? But then the nose dips slightly and I realize that we're high enough now and Claire is guiding the machine forward. I don't think there's anything she can't do. Except maybe what Alice is going to do.

I look down again. Alice is still watching us. Then she turns and walks towards the building. Even from up here I can see determination in her stride. I know why she stayed. The people who started this whole thing robbed me of my first life. And not content with that they tried to take my new one too. Alice is going to stop them.

I loved Carlos. I love Claire. And I love Alice too. I love them because of who they are; people determined to protect and care for me and for others. I see Alice disappear into the building and I find that I can look at the dying flames.

Carlos gave me one last hug and I didn't want to let him go. I watched him and Alice together and I know she didn't want to let him go either. I saw her kiss him. I know that she loved him too but she had to let him go while he still was the man that Alice, Claire and I all three loved.

Carlos hugged me and he gave me something. I touch the waistband of my shorts where I tucked in his pistol that he slipped me before he went to the gas truck. I curl my fingers around the grip, being careful not to touch the trigger.

He whispered to me to take care of Claire and the others. Alice told me the same thing. I told him I would. I told her I would. And I will. I will protect my family.

(The End)

(I know. I'm in the middle of another story but when something like this hits me I just have to write it.)


End file.
